Sonic has been barred from Mario-Sonic Winter Olympics for speed use. Sonic claims he had no knowledge of the drugs, though he has tested positive for a Dr. Robotnik brand of amphetamine and could face up to 5 years in jail. Mario has fallen from grace also, testing positive for shrooms. Due to the arrest of these two main stars, the Mario-Sonic Winter Olympics have been completely canceled. Other contestants say that Tails cried all night for Sonic until this morning when he was found dead as a result of a massive OD.

News of Tekken 6’s upcoming release has made waves in the large Tekken 5 community of 14 people. The majority of gamers that have heard about the fifth sequel (fiquel? fifthel?) has left many people with puzzled looks, shrugged shoulders and the word “meh.” The A Button conducted random interviews with random pedestrians to see what the people think of the new Tekken game. Here are some of their responses:

Nathan: “That’s the game like Mortal Kombat without the cool, right?”

Adam: “What’s Tekken?”

Eric: “Personally, I’m waiting on Soul Calibur 5, since it has like…weapons and stuff.”

Now that he is out of jail and playing  in the NFL again (if you call that playing), Michael Vick can go back releasing his stress in a violent, socially unacceptable manner: by playing video games! Vick has gone on record as saying he can’t wait to pre-order EyePet, Sony’s up and coming virtual pet game for the PS3 due to release this holiday season. Vick likes the fact that you can virtually interact with the animal just like you would with a normal creature. “I got to play with a demo of the game and I really liked the fact that the little creature never got tired and never stayed down. He was a real fighter,” said Vick during an exclusive A Button interview.

War Protester

Type:     Passive
Health:     15
Speed:     50%

The War Protester is Team Fortress 2’s class that tries to send a good message to the kiddies by not advocating war. His weapons include a picket sign, a megaphone, and an unsteady but emotional grasp on the topic he is protesting. His main strength is employed on control point maps in which he can inhibit attackers from getting to the control point until he dies. Until then, he forms a one man picket wall and yells about how violence and imperialism are not the answer while using one or two examples out of context.

Biography:
A heavy drinker and community college drop out, the War Protester has taken enough Political Science courses to know too much about his rights and maybe one thing about global politics.

On Thursday, October 1, James Gladoux was walking through the forest while on a hike with his eight year old daughter when he spotted what appeared to be a professional wrestling game for the Xbox 360. The interesting part is that the game was dated for 2010. Wrestling games, thought to be long extinct, mostly existed in the 1980s through the 1990s. The species died off in the early 2000s when everyone finally didn’t care anymore and stopped watching actual wresting on television. Scientists are analyzing the game to test its authenticity. Many questions arise if the game is indeed found to be real. Where did it come from? Why was it there? Who would actually play this game?