News of Tekken 6’s upcoming release has made waves in the large Tekken 5 community of 14 people. The majority of gamers that have heard about the fifth sequel (fiquel? fifthel?) has left many people with puzzled looks, shrugged shoulders and the word “meh.” The A Button conducted random interviews with random pedestrians to see what the people think of the new Tekken game. Here are some of their responses:

Nathan: “That’s the game like Mortal Kombat without the cool, right?”

Adam: “What’s Tekken?”

Eric: “Personally, I’m waiting on Soul Calibur 5, since it has like…weapons and stuff.”

Now that he is out of jail and playing  in the NFL again (if you call that playing), Michael Vick can go back releasing his stress in a violent, socially unacceptable manner: by playing video games! Vick has gone on record as saying he can’t wait to pre-order EyePet, Sony’s up and coming virtual pet game for the PS3 due to release this holiday season. Vick likes the fact that you can virtually interact with the animal just like you would with a normal creature. “I got to play with a demo of the game and I really liked the fact that the little creature never got tired and never stayed down. He was a real fighter,” said Vick during an exclusive A Button interview.

War Protester

Type:     Passive
Health:     15
Speed:     50%

The War Protester is Team Fortress 2’s class that tries to send a good message to the kiddies by not advocating war. His weapons include a picket sign, a megaphone, and an unsteady but emotional grasp on the topic he is protesting. His main strength is employed on control point maps in which he can inhibit attackers from getting to the control point until he dies. Until then, he forms a one man picket wall and yells about how violence and imperialism are not the answer while using one or two examples out of context.

Biography:
A heavy drinker and community college drop out, the War Protester has taken enough Political Science courses to know too much about his rights and maybe one thing about global politics.

With the impending release of Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, details of Uncharted 3 are starting to emerge. Uncharted 3 will put  Nathan Drake in the center of the ruins of Detroit, a mythical Michigan city that supposedly once thrived with people and culture, but has long been abandoned. On his quest after an ancient automobile fortune, Drake will encounter numerous perils and dangers left over from the citizens of Detroit. Look for Uncharted 3: Detroit sometime next year.

After his 15 minutes of fame from acquiring a Piece of Eden by killing Al Mualim, Altaïr found it hard to make some cash. “Unable to actually use the Piece of Eden on my own, and with all of the Knights of the Templar dead, my assassin brother and I didn’t really have any work. Al Mualim was our leader so we didn’t know what to do after that. Things got hard,”  said Altaïr. Unable to feed himself from a dishonest day’s work, Altaïr started to rely on theft more than before to nourish himself day-to-day. “I eventually got caught got and couldn’t fight my way out of it. This one vendor had been suspicious of me stealing from him all month and finally caught me by having about 15 guards attack me and hold me down. I ran out of luck and I’m set to have a trial on the 27th of this month.”

You might have noticed some excess sparkle in your background after the 3.00 firmware update for the PS3. That would be because the PS3 is finally coming out of the closet. That’s right, no more of that pretending and no more overcompensating to prove its masculinity. The PS3 is going to be who it wants to be. Can’t you accept it for that? It’s even slimmed down for you.

The year was 2003 and a hit 90’s rapper, PaRappa the Rapper, had just been found dead in his apartment, shot between the eyes, still clutching a microphone. No clues were to be found and thus the murder case fell into the cold case files. Move forward to today. Alex Rigopulos, co-founder of Harmonix, the original maker of Guitar Hero and maker of the Rock Band series, is pulled over for speeding. The officer becomes suspicious and performs a routine check of Rigpulos’ car only to find a microphone with the initials PRR engraved on it and an ounce of marijuana in the trunk. Rigopulos is quickly taken into custody and the microphone is sent to the forensics department. Hours later, DNA tests from the microphone confirm that it is a backup microphone belonging to PaRappa the Rapper. A full investigation has been launched and multiple Harmonix employees have been taken into custody. The A Button will keep you up-to-date should any more details unfold.

Final Fantasy XIV picks up where FF XII left off by giving players an even better FFMMORPG. Final Fantasy XIV changes things up though. Player’s don’t have levels and instead become stronger and more effective through better items, such as swords. If you have played any kind of Final Fantasy or Final Fantasy related games before, you are well aware that the bigger and awesomer the sword, the better the main character is. So, it comes as no surprise that FF XIV will have swords that are 10+ feet long, shoot lasers, raise the dead, and cure AIDS. Yes, in the world of FF XIV, over-compensating is a masterful art that only the most dedicated digital socialite can wield with power and persuasion.

In Batman’s most recent campaign against crime, he takes the fight to the villains and gets his hands dirty in Arkham Asylum. Due to the fact that the Joker trapped Batman in Arkham Asylum against his will and by surprise, no one is back at Wayne Manor to babysit pants-less Robin (Alfred went on vacation apparently). Since then, there have been those who have made attempts on the boy wonder’s life. Reports say that Robin defended himself from these henchmen by hiding in Wayne Manor and setting traps in various locations for the thugs. Traps included hot door handles, buckets of paint, and tar and feathers. The latest reports say that Robin is managing against these threats and will be on his own until the police figure out what to do about that whole bomb threat situation with the Joker.

At a recent press conference, Will Smith warned that the new PS3 slim was to be feared, even more so than the original PS3, due to the console’s better and faster processor. “I saw a woman’s purse get stolen by a PS3 Slim the other days. These machines, one could even say ‘robots,’ should not be trusted. This new PS3 is just bad news for us all.” Those at the press conference criticized Smith and said that the PS3 was designed to help and entertain people. No one understood why a PS3 could or even would steal a purse. Will Smith’s reaction to this criticism was, “Do I look like I care what you think? Do I look like I give a s**t what you think?”

We understand Will Smith, and when the the PS3 iRobot/Terminator apocalypse begins, we have your back.